Timing…

This Sunday morning began as most of my Sunday mornings do:  check on sleeping child, get coffee and read Facebook.

I’ve followed a blog for about a year.  You can find them on Facebook, Brave Girls Club.  I starting reading the blog when I truly felt at my inner lowest point. Something about the whole change of life and fluctuating levels of hormones and getting older and discontent…..I was emotionally, spiritually, LOW.  This site spoke to me.  These women, whom I’ve never met, spoke to me.  I often would sit and read and cry.  Read, cry, read, repeat.  It was a cleansing, of sorts,  sitting and reading Melody Ross’ words of encouragement and hope.  I would feel like I wasn’t alone.  I began to feel like a Brave Girl and part of the club.

10696203_10204221304989101_3248106106372613150_nToday, this was her image for her post.  Talk about timing.   All those fears…all those tears….grieving  part of my journey, grieving part of my past…necessary so I can appreciate what will come.   I can’t help but feel there is Divine Guidance and I am grateful.  Thank you.

My family and friends are very supportive of me as I undergo this change.  My family is my rock, my foundation.  They are the branch upon which my chrysalis hangs.  They know me better than I know myself.  With family and friends I feel nurtured…held close….loved.  I am able to wonder what lies ahead, not with fear but with the curiosity of new eyes. I am emerging.

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Choosing the Path Not Taken…

Speaking about myself is difficult. Not the upper layers and masks that I allow others to see. I’m talking about the soft, inner, child-like part of me that I’ve kept hidden and asleep: the essence of ME. At the mid life review, I found things lacking, left out and little within myself. I found the fear that has always been there, living silent and deadly like a cancer. Unhappy within despite the many blessings showering down upon me without. Noticing, for the first time, I am valuable. So, I woke up. I took deep breaths…and even deeper breaths, feeding fresh air into the dark cave that is my old inner…breathing new life into ME. I have awakened. The fear is still there, but now I am facing it, a small step leading to bigger steps. I am choosing honesty, even if it is painful. I’m finally allowing myself to just be.

I am awake. This is my journey….

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